A Day in the Life

A day in my life. Thoughts on leadership, management, startups, technology, software, concurrent development, etc... Basically the stuff I think about from 10am to 6pm.

12/01/2005

In Memorial: Thanks for Everything Idgie


Over the last few months I’ve been struggling with the decision of whether or not to euthanize my dog, Idgie. It’s been a process that has consumed me. How much pain is too much? How do I define quality of life? How do I weigh the needs of my family vs. Idgie’s life? I talked to friends, family, and my vet. I agonized. And then I made a decision. On Wednesday evening at 5:40 pm Idgie moved on. I have always struggled to be the strong, responsible one but I found that I couldn’t take care of two aging animals, two young children, a full-time+ job, coaching and keeping my sanity. She hadn’t been running in over two years; she hadn’t been for a long walk in about one. For the last six months when she has gone down to the street (36 steps), I’ve had to carry her back up. She weighed 70 lbs. She was going blind and deaf. She had extremely bad arthritis in her hips, knees and ankles, and after she lost half a foot to a cancerous tumor, walking was even harder. She had trouble getting back into the house after going to the bathroom because she couldn’t jump 4 inches. Part of me feels as if I betrayed her trust. That I didn’t fulfill my part of the bargain. That maybe I could have done more. But part of my mind believes that I did the right thing. That she is out of pain now and running in some heavenly field with other dogs. Chasing squirrels and chipmunks. Having fun. Young again...

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